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*So now that he was getting somewhere on that, in his mind at least, now was the hardest part of all... He was not exactly one to be good with normal words, at least not in planning anything. Sure he could whip out a ten-page report in a few hours if he was inspired, but that didn't help one when one actually tried to interact with someone else on something other than the topic of schoolwork. Especially when one was used to suppressing himself on a grand scale and used an average of three words per sentence unless more words were required. He turned and started a slow pace back towards the castle as he turned this new problem over in his head... How to find out if someone liked him, tolerated him, or...* ~*Melody's afternoons grew more and more full with every passing week it seemed. Always someone wanting her time after classes, and then homework and studying atop that. Her own poor project had been rather neglected this week. Finally she finished in the library, and once her books had been returned to her room, decided to sneak outside for a few minutes in the moonlight before curfew.*~ *His steps were silent as he neared the door, eyes scanning around even as his mind was busy on other things, he pressed the door open, stepping inside the dim hallway and paused to look around, again a habit unbroken since his youth in case he had to duck outside again in a hurry* ~*Two people who walked silently did not make for the safest of traffic conditions, and Melody's footfalls as always were just that, bred from a lifetime of avoiding notice. She reached for the door, not having time to step back as it suddenly swung towards her and a familiar redhead was suddenly crashing into her..again.*~ We have got to stop meeting like this.. ~*She muttered.*~ *he looked rather startled as he grabbed her quickly, making sure neither of them met the floor, again, then looked slightly sheepish* Agreed. Next time, I'll make sure to run into the door instead. *he let go of her shoulders slowly and stepped back slightly* ~*She didn't laugh, but smiled at least at his reply, not seeming to mind him grabbing her since after all they had been practicing dance steps not too long ago.*~ Or maybe one of use should start watching where we're going.. I could carry a little lumos spell around on me after dark at all times.. ~*Stepping aside to allow him to actually get the thought the contested doorway.*~ So.. coming in? *he stepped inside and shook his head slightly, giving her a long look* It's my fault, I was thinking some things over and let myself be distracted. Were you leaving? *he glanced outside for a moment, then back at her* ~*Her smile faded to a neutral line, expressive violet eyes holding concern as they looked into his. Over time she'd grown comfortable with the soft spoken Ravenclaw, no longer averting her gaze so much as she once did.*~ Is everything all right? ~*trying to lighten the mood*~ reconsidering about going to the Ball? ~*Not considering that she had been about to step outside until he brought it up*~ Oh.. I was just going to go for a walk. Wind down for the evening. But I'd rather talk with you. Unless.. you want to be alone? *again he shook his head slightly* Nothing that can't be solved in time, other than the usual. *he shrugged, since his mother had gone off on one of her un-planned trips and hadn't told him where she had gone off to he hadn't had to make any late-night trips for the last week* I hadn't known I had even considered going. *he nodded slightly in one direction and started walking at an easy pace after the movement of invitation* Hardly seems fair that you've seen me acting like a maniac and I'm beginning to think you can't be ruffled Liam Everwood. ~*She smiled at his evasive answer. Was it him, or Ravenclaws in general, or some combination of the two? That same quiet which she found so soothing could at times make feeling like you knew him even a little bit.. terribly difficult. Alienated was the word. Except she was forever changing her mind on whether the alienated one was her or himself.*~ Well I mean now you know how to dance.. at least a little. ~*Walking only half a corridor's length or so before she'd stop, catching him by the shoulder if necessary to keep him from continuing without her, and asking seriously*~ Do you want to be alone Liam? ~*The same questions of before, but its scope so much broader now.*~ For how long? *he shrugged at her first comment* You seem to do quite the job of that... *he stopped at her soft hand on his shoulder, then closing his eyes slightly briefly, allowing a bit of his indecision and perhaps some pain to flit over his features* I... don't know anymore. *he whispered finally, carefully not looking right at her* I'd never know it to look at you. ~*She answered quietly, finding it so odd to be playing the aggressive role in any conversation. But then, she was prying into herself wasn't she? Seeing in Liam her own loneliness and wanting to make it go away. The look which came to her face at his answer was pained with no perhaps about it, her eyes shining as she wanted to reach out to him.*~ I think you do. I.. I don't know you. Or well, not very well but.. I see echoes of the life I'm trying to hard to get away from in you. The one that made me miserable. ~*Right down to the avoidance of eye contact.*~ *he finally looked at her fully, reaching over to brush his fingers over his left arm for a moment as he thought, then glanced around* Can we go somewhere? Private? ~*She nodded*~ Lead the way. ~*Feeling a bit strange to say these words while she still felt somehow in charge. That in and of itself wrong. He was older, he was male. She was.. her. She waited to let him chose a place where he felt comfortable.*~ *he nodded slightly and turned down a seemingly random hall towards the moving stairs, resuming the pace from before easily* ~*For a few minutes everything was as it should have been, someone else leading as she followed in silence. And yet it was only an interlude, waiting until they arrived wherever it was he was heading, if he was going anywhere at all and not just walking to prolong a conversation he didn't want. She simply trailed after him. Patient, saving the discussion until they were wherever he decided "private" was.*~ *he actually did have a place in mind... the very chamber that had once held a three-headed large dog several years ago, but now was empty and forgotten at the moment, he opened the door for her and stepped in after her, closing the door securely* ~*To Melody it was only an empty room with a trapdoor in the center. She had not known of the incident nor even been a student here at the time. But wherever it was, if Liam was comfortable there, then it was good enough for her. She waited for him to close the door, before looking at him again, arching both brows proddingly, to see if he would speak first.*~ * he looked over the entire room and was finally satisfied before looking over at her again* You know about my mother, about how she has slowly lost her sanity over the years...? ~*She nodded, thinking there would be something terrible ironic if this came down to him not wanting to turn into his mother. Oh how Melody Lestrange could relate to that.*~ You mentioned.. she wasn't all there. ~*Admitting as much with a little shrug*~ neither is mine to be honest.. ~*Though at least his had respectable reasons.*~ That must have been hard on you. *he nodded slightly* I have never mentioned why she has done so to anyone. I suspect Dumbledore may know, perhaps one or two others, but... *he made a slight movement with his hand* ~*Now she couldn't help it, she did chuckle. Though it was an empty and bitter sound. The irony was just too great.*~ I understand more than you can possibly guess Liam. ~*Dumbledore and a few others. excellently put. She took a step towards him, and reached out to catch the helplessly gesturing hand*~ Why? ~*Her voice so soft.*~ *he smiled slightly, though is was wry and rather twisted for true amusement, though he squeezed her hand gently before releasing it to reach over to his left sleeve* Because she lost something very precious to her, and was unable to do anything about it for the first time in her life. ~*She wondered if he was talking about his father, or perhaps some sibling he'd had. She watched his hand move to his sleeve, wondering if he was reaching for something and it flitting through her mind that he kept weaponry hidden on his person. He really was already half auror wasn't he? And she was alone with him. Still.. that thought didn't give her the nervousness it did when she was secluded away from the sight of others with Trevor. Odd.. that she should fear her mentor so. Or maybe fitting for a Slytherin. What would he say if he found her here now? She waited to be told what the something was.*~ My father, and somewhat myself... *He pushed up his sleeve to reveal.... a dagger, strapped to his arm within a wide band of leather. It was this that he started to unwind from his arm, uncovering the rather odd twist of scars covering the covered portion, a crude but definate mark of a Death Eater* ~*He was reaching for a weapon, just as her mind had idly wandered to. Still she felt only the slightest instinct to reach for her wand, quickly pushed aside. *~ Your- ~*The repeated word of question dying on her lips as she just stared at the mark.*~ But.. but.. you're only a sixth year. He was- I mean- it was years ago.. ~*eyes transfixed to the mark in disbelief. And that circle spiraled ever inwards on her. Fate seemed to cry out that no one would so much as look at her who did not follow the Dark Lord. And yet she was terrified all the same. She was not her parents, those were their people, and Slytherin or not, Lestrange or not, like any normal wizard she feared He Who Shall Not Be Named.*~ A-are you still? ~*She asked in nothing but a whisper.*~ *he shook his head sharply* I never was, Melody. The ones who killed my father so slowly told my mother that they would come back for me and make me truely one of them someday. That's why they marked me like this, as a constant reminder. Oh thank god! ~*She exclaimed as the tears which had been pooling in her eyes suddenly spilling down her cheeks, and quite thoughtlessly she threw her arms around him.*~ I didn't want you to be one Liam! I don't! ~*A sob shaking her body*~ I want you to like me for me! I want- ~*pulling back from him abruptly to face him as the rest of his words past those which had given her such relief filtered through.*~ I won't let that happen! They've been sniffing about me like some prize since I got here. There's got to be something.. ~*rambling utter nonsense, just so determined not to lose this person who wasn't one of that fold and yet would still entrust a secret to her.*~ Don't let them Liam.. ~*shaking her head, seeing herself in the eyes which were only a darker shade of her own more now than ever before.*~ Don't let them.. *he was rather startled as she suddenly held him, blushing slightly for a moment before taking her hands gently in his own, his eyes intense* Now you know why I hide so much, Melody. Mother went insane trying to protect me from anyone trying to keep an old promise. Tell me, please. Who is watching you, and do you know why? ~*Her reasons. They were all her reasons. The solitude and the shadows and the quiet footsteps so that you were always no one in the crowd of someones. And yet not. Because she knew, surely as she knew that Trevor was ensnaring her with his promises of family and tales of the great Tom Riddle, she knew that she was succumbing to their call. But she was Slytherin, she was a Lestrange. She had no choice, no say in the path the aurors had always known she would take. Liam was different, and she wanted to save him so desperately as she couldn't save herself.*~ I know why. ~*Her turn now not to meet his eyes. How could she tell him? She was his enemy. His threat. Every second he spent with her brought him more into their eyes.*~ *he looked slightly questioning for a moment, but then smiled slightly* You don't have to tell me now, Melody. Just be careful about what you do. That is why I came here, because nobody would think of using a place without any more use. Careful? ~*A tearful scoffing laugh*~ What do I have to be careful of? When my family name precedes me in all threatening company and it is only aurors who haunt my path? ~*Shaking her head as she wished for the thousandth time she'd never come to Hogwarts.*~ Liam. ~*placing a hand on his arm, the forearm below that claiming mark of her parent's ranks.*~ we can't speak any more. We shouldn't spend time together. And please, don't take up Professor Jinx's offer to do research with us. ~*It clear how much it tore at her to have to say these words.*~ THEY are watching me. And if you are with me.. then they'll see you too. *he looked slightly confused, then tried to cover the hurt her words caused him* It makes little difference weather we speak or not, Melody. I already know not to take up the offer, because what could one need three assistants for and yet not be a professor? Melody, it's only a matter of time before I have to flee from here. *the last was very soft, but firm with a touch of regret* ~*But she had seen it, and if the agony there in her eyes which seemed incapable of obscuring her thoughts could have increased anymore at that, it did. She wanted to push him away no more than he wanted it. But she couldn't risk bringing harm to him.*~ I couldn't live with myself if they took you because you were near me. ~*Withdrawing her hand to wrap both arms tightly around herself. It had been a long time since she felt this hopeless, his final words causing her to hang her head, and nod shakily*~ I know. I'll miss you. ~*Her shoulders shaking once before she asked in an uneven, but audible voice*~ Do you know the story of the Longbottoms? Frank Longbottom the auror, and his wife? *he nodded slowly, finally masking himself again as her hands left* I know of it, because mother told me much about that period of time. She wanted me aware of who to watch out for. I figured out who you were a while ago, Melody. We're both just pawns of an elder generation. Perhaps important, perhaps not, but just pawns of a much larger game. ~*Her head darting up then as she asked in shock*~ Warned you? You knew then?? All this time.. ~*incredulous, and feeling somewhat played, deceived.*~ You knew the names of their attackers? ~*Fists clenching as she took a step back from him, features growing tighter but still unable to mask her eyes and all their confusion*~ Why didn't you say something? ~*Expression unchanging as her reply was almost offhand*~ I have always been only a pawn. ~*Swallowing hard as she would make clear to him what had not been said to any other. That she knew just what her obedience brought.*~ Because I allow it. You don't have to allow it. *he didn't change expressions except to soften slightly* It's because you aren't your parents. I... felt different around you. I can't really explain it, but I felt like I wasn't alone anymore. Besides, one doesn't exactly just bring up things like this in normal conversation... *he tried to catch her eyes with his own* You don't have to. You could talk to Prof. Dumbledore, ask for something to be done. Even if it means erasing all your memories and planting different ones and sending you out to hide as a muggle until it's safe again, there is always another option. ~*There are situations where there are no right words. And then there are times when the perfect words just appear and can change everything in an instant. All feelings of betrayal vanishing with that explanation that made such perfect sense. Because that's exactly how she had felt. No longer alone.*~ No.. ~*Willingly looking up to face him with her tear-bright eyes at the mention of seeking Dumbledore's aid.*~ it's become so clear since I came here. I can't escape them. Because it will never be safe. ~*Karkaroff had run, and she knew in her heart it would only be a matter of time until he was found. And unlike Crouch, she would cry for him. For now however the droplets had ceased rolling down her face, and she wiped at her cheeks, taking a deep shuddering breath as she began working towards regaining her composure.*~ I'm going to leave in a minute. And I'll go back the house I was sorted into. And I will pretend that the people who smile at me there really like me. And I will do what pleases them and they will be nice to me. Because someday those same people will take or chase you away from me. Because everyone who knows how to smile for real doesn't have one for me. Because I don't deserve it. ~*another breath as she forced her shoulders into a relaxed state, the strength to her voice which had been there, that of real speech instead of her normal submission, fading with every word.*~ And I will go to Yule Ball with Trevor, and I will dance the steps you taught me. And I will be beautiful, and pretend he really wanted to go with me, and be happy in my delusion. And he will introduce me to Lucius Malfoy, and someday he, or someone else will introduce me to the man who still holds sway over my parents. And I will do what I have always done, whatever I have to so that I can go on pretending someone cares about me. *he stared at her for several long minutes, then reached over and brushed away a bit of dampness she had missed gently* I think... that what you are going to try takes more courage than I'll ever have. *he said softly* I won't promise that I'll stop running into you at night, or that I'll be happy. But, I want you to do two things for me, if you would? *he sighed slightly as he took his hand away and fixed the leather back over his arm and pulled down the sleeve * ~*And she had mostly returned to the quiet, obedient demeanor of Melody, so she stood there as still as death, allowing the examining eyes to remain on her, though her own drifted downwards before he was done. Lids closing at the soft touch to her face. She still hadn't returned completely though, couldn't have, or she wouldn't have argued.*~ No, it is from my lack of courage that I lie in a bed of serpents instead of fighting. ~*Her eyes never opening.*~ But thank you anyway. ~*Remaining just like that, as she'd ask quietly*~ What are they? I will if I can. ~*Since after all, she wanted to please him too.*~ *he nodded* Remember that one person cares about you, Melody. One person smiled at you and meant it, and wanted things to be different. Someone cares about you. *he smiled a bit wistfully at her* And the second thing... *he reached in his pocket and drew out a small ball of feathers, taking her hands and placing the sleepy little owl into her hands* Take care of Isis for me? If I do have to run, or if the unlikely thing happens and I am caught, she doesn't deserve to be abandoned or killed because of it. And if you ever, ever have need of me, she'll find me. No notes, no markers to betray you, and I'll come if I'm still alive. ~*If her eyes hadn't been closed at that moment, they would have lowered, so that she could have savored nothing but those words, holding onto them. It was clear she did intend to remember, to treasure that precious thought. She opened her eyes at the mention of the second thing, and opened them wider still when he'd take out Isis, the tiny creature in her hands before she knew what was happening.*~ But- but Liam I can't. She's yours... I... ~*looking down at the adorable bird and then back to him.*~ *he was still smiling at her* If anyone asks, you found her abandoned outside. And you can, because she likes you. *and the owl did, looking at Melody with trust and contentment, even nibbling a little on one finger before closing her eyes again* Just don't let her eat your hair. *he said, half serious... he hesitated a moment, and then while her hands were full he lifted her chin up towards him and leaned to brush his lips lightly over hers for a long moment, then turned and slipped silently out the door* ~*And now that her eyes were open, she could see that smile, its kindness so freely offered.*~ I like her too.. ~*She murmured as she cradled the ball of fluff, realizing she wasn't going win this one.*~ I'll take good care of her. ~*Eyes meeting his as he lifted her chin, thinking he just meant to look at her, until she found his amethyst gaze drawing closer, aware suddenly of what was about to happen and frozen to stop it. Eyes open through her first kiss, staring at him. She said nothing when he left, trying to find her breath, wondering if that frantic thudding was her own heart. She'd said she was going to leave first. But instead.. she found herself lingering a long time after he had gone, trying to stop the spin that had just been put on her world.*~ | |||
